Father, Forgive Them, For They Know Not What They Do

BY: "Evangeline," a Stander and Group Leader 
When my husband made the announcement, "We are getting a divorce," I behaved as a four-year-old, crying, begging, then actually hating him. He told me he was going to be with someone else, someone only a few years younger, since he wouldn't "rob the cradle." He told me to get a lawyer right away because the other woman had already hired one, and so had he. He told me she was also getting a divorce from her husband. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around what was happening here.
"What did you say?"
"You are both getting divorced from your spouses so that you can be together?"
"You DO realize that you are building a new life on the foundation of deception, don't you?"
This information was incomprehensible to me, but it was precisely what was going on before my eyes. This is something that seems to have been planned in advance by the two of them; that made no sense to me but perfect sense to them. My husband tried to make the plan perfectly clear to me. In the end, they did exactly what they said they were going to do.  
Meanwhile, in my state of bewilderment, upheaval, and disbelief, I went to Jesus. There I said everything I was thinking, everything I was feeling. I asked Him to forgive us (my husband and I) for breaking our promise to Him; to forgive me for not seeing this awful thing coming. I thanked Him for the Holy Spirit, who was interceding for me through my groans and inability to know any more words in English to say. He did forgive me.

He even allowed me to deal with my hate for the two of them for a while. He let me hurl objects at a wall as I mentally dismembered each of them from head to toe while yelling obscenities loud enough for me to get a sore throat. He let me see and feel how ugly and painful my anger was. He showed me how steadfast, loving, and direct His conviction is. He used my awful but honest behavior to show me what His true forgiveness really looks like.
I realized that even after that display of hatred, He loved me, and all I needed to do was run into His arms and ask to be forgiven. And before I could even utter the words, I was already forgiven. There was nothing I could do to change His mind.
Visually, I could see Jesus on the cross suffering; grossly abused, skin falling off, muscle exposed. I heard the crowds jeering and mocking as He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." I heard Him say, "Father, forgive Evangeline. She doesn't know what she is doing."
That's when I surrendered and became born again. From then on my life, my days, my thoughts were no longer mine. I gave it all to Him and I have never been the same. Let the praise go to Yahweh for sending Jesus the Messiah to Earth. Let the praise go to Jesus the Messiah for His Sacrifice, His Resurrection, and Ascension, for sending the Holy Spirit to keep us with Him all the time.
How do I feel about the woman who is with my husband now, you might ask? How else can I feel? I feel sorry for her. She is living in a web of lies, bound by the enemy. She is counting on my husband, not Jesus, to be her security. She doesn't understand that he can never be that for her. His life is not secure either. My husband is walking on a wide road that leads to death and hell, and she is right behind him. She is driving herself crazy, trying to keep that life of deception intact. What kind of life is this?
"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5 (ESV)
I am sad that this other woman hasn't seen Jesus in His mutilated body forgiving her. She hasn't known His loving conviction yet. I was there. I have known the human results of devastation; anger, hostility, confusion, hatred. But through that devastation, I came to know true security, true joy, the true life that is eternal. 
I have one sober question.
Is this woman's life less valuable than mine? 
I think the word of God answers that question...
"For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."  John 3:16 (KJV)
Whosoever. (pronoun) - formal, ANY PERSON WHO.... (dictionary.com)
Today, Lord, we pray for the prodigals and the others deceived with them. Our hearts break, knowing that they are separated from You. Although we would not have chosen to go on this journey without our spouses, we are thankful that we have gotten to know You more intimately through it. We pray the same for the prodigals. Lord, bring them back to You, first. Then, as the anointing of the Word of Your covenant descends upon them, bring them back where they belong; to the wives (and husbands) of their youth. To the covenant to which You bore witness and will hold us accountable until death. Amen.






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