The Trap of Unforgiveness

BY: Anonymous

I have often heard that the sin of unforgiveness is the number one roadblock to restoration and healing. (Please read that again!!!)
 
I was too blinded to see and understand the concept of forgiveness in my early days of standing. I was always warfaring and targeting the non-Covenant. I thought that she was my enemy. I would come against her "binding the Jezebel" spirit, casting out witchcraft, and so forth, all in the name of Jesus. I guess I thought by doing this; she would leave my husband. 
 
At family gatherings or birthday parties for our children, she would always take my husband to another room away from wherever I was. I would say "hi" to them but always get a cold response. After all these occasions, I would forgive 70x7 only to find a new bomb drop, and I was back warfaring, not understanding the verse, "Love the sinner but hate the sin." 
 
I wasted many years in this warfare mode. The significant change in my heart came one day with the prayer Jesus taught us; The Our Father." I kept thinking how many times I prayed that prayer growing up but just said it without ever really hearing the words. One day as I said, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." The Lord immediately shot those words through my whole being! I was convicted on the spot. 
 
We often speak of a "rhema" word in Covenant Keepers; well, this experience was indeed a rhema word for me. I also heard the verse, "If you don't forgive others, I am not going to forgive you." (Matthew 6:15) I always looked at the non-Covenant as the enemy and an alien, intentionally hurting my marriage. I didn't see her as a person Christ died for, like me. 
 
The Bible says in Ephesians 6, "We do not fight people made of flesh and blood but principalities, powers, and wickedness in high places." How many times have we heard that our spouses are not our enemies? That goes for the non-Covenant, too! The enemy works to bring division, hatred, and separation in us, too. 
 
I went before the Lord and told Him how I couldn't forgive her, but if He helped me, I would forgive her through Him. I was really willing and able this time, after having that revelation. God allowed me to put the word into practice shortly after when we were at a family gathering, and the non-covenant's mom had just died. I looked over at her, and she looked so lost and sad. The Holy Spirit told me to go to her, but I resisted, at first. He kept pushing me, so I finally got up and walked over to her. She looked so scared and shocked. The words that came out of my mouth were, "I'm so sorry about your mom. I know how much you must be hurting." She was afraid and couldn't look me in the eyes but told me how difficult the journey really was. It was an amazing exchange, and God was at the heart of it, with His love flowing between us. I hugged her. My husband was not in the room, so he did not observe our encounter. The fruit of this forgiveness from Christ in my heart was so real!!! 
 
After this exchange, she now smiles at me and says "hi" at all the family gatherings. The crazy thing is that now, MY HUSBAND smiles at me, too, and goes out of his way to say "goodbye" to me with a smile and a wave. 
 
Since then, my prayers have taken on a whole new meaning. I'm praying for them to be free from the sin of adultery, asking God's kindness to lead them to repentance (Romans 2:4). I also pray for my husband to come back to the Lord and for our one flesh Covenant to be reconciled. I also pray for the other woman to know Christ as I do, to make Him number one in her heart, and for her to come out of the kingdom of darkness into the light of Jesus Christ. 
 
I can now do my "warfare" with a heart of forgiveness. Things are so different for my whole family because I forgave. I hope this will help many of you and save you a few years of doing it the way I did in the beginning. God knows the pain and anger inside of us at being left and having someone take our place. It was so great that He also showed me He was an all-consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29) and that He could burn all this hatred and sludge out of me if I took it to Him with pure honesty from my heart. 
 
The word says, "Our hearts are deceitfully wicked; who can know them." (Jeremiah 17:9) Often, we feel like the victim and that we've done nothing wrong, but the Lord will show us our heart if we ask Him and will free us from the sins that we ALL have. "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) 
 
What freedom there is in the process of sanctification, going "from glory to glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18) and becoming the mature sons and daughters He wants us to be, becoming like Him. Forgiveness does not "unhook" them; it "unhooks" us. We can pray more effectively. God, the Just Judge of heaven and earth (Psalm 89:14), sees our hearts. He will move heaven and earth to save us and those we intercede for as we repent of our sins and turn our lives to Him (Haggai 2:6). What a mighty God we serve!
 
Be blessed, my friends, for, in the Kingdom of Heaven, we can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens us. (Phillippians 4:13)